Jody Bicking / Guest Columnist

During the most recent Senate confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court of the U.S., the activity of Sen. Joseph Biden created a most interesting statistic. According to the Senate transcripts, the senator spoke for 25 minutes of his allotted questioning while the nominee recorded a total of five minutes in response time. To be fair, this must be viewed within the political context, however one must wonder who heard and understood what.

The example, convoluted as it may be, does strike a chord of reality within the context of everyday life. To fully illustrate the point, consider your answers to the following three questions:

– Do you sometimes feel you are talking but the other person hasn&8217;t heard a word you have said?

– How often during a conversation or meeting do you find your mind wandering to another time and place?

– When involved in a dialogue, do you ever catch yourself thinking more about how you are going to respond rather than concentrating on what is being said?

If you find the answers to be &8220;yes,&8221; don&8217;t be alarmed … you are normal.

Studies continue to confirm we are not good communicators. Communication involves a sender and a receiver. Most interpersonal communication problems are blamed on the listening component, a logical conclusion since most people have never received any training in the art and discipline of listening.

If asked, most people feel they are good listeners when the situation requires. This belief makes the first and most important point concerning listening. A person&8217;s level of listening is directly affected by their motivation to listen.

Become A Better Listener and Communicator

1. Take steps to understand personality styles; both yours and others.

Such knowledge will provide you insight in regard to directness or whether to convey broad ideas or detailed facts.

2. Assess your particular listening style. Do you listen empathetically or for facts? If you listen for facts, what is your purpose: the gaining of information, an effort to understand or as a decision-making mechanism