Tick, tock went the tax clock

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

That sound you heard was the clock ticking down to April 15.

Tax day.

&uot;We don’t want to be around you on the day you mail off your taxes,&uot; someone at the office recently said.

They are smart.

There’s nothing worse than sending some of my hard-earned money off to the government. And there’s nothing better to get me in a really foul mood.

It’s not so much the money (OK – maybe it is) but the fact that I wonder if my money is being put to good use.

I would feel a lot better if my money was going to help liberate Iraq or feed hungry people in our own country or even plant some flowers along the interstate.

What upsets me is I imagine the money is probably going to purchase $500 toilet paper holders or a study on the mating habits of a fruit fly.

I want my money to count.

So, George W. Bush, I would appreciate it if I could see some sort of receipt for wherever my money is going. I know that’s a lot to ask for, considering how much you have on your mind. I’m not asking you to personally get me the receipt, but I feel someone in the government should be able to spare a couple of minutes to jot down some notes.

Something along these lines would be good and sure make me feel better about writing that April 15 check:

Dear Ms. DeVaney,

Your tax dollars paid for 1/100,000th of a bunker-busting bomb; two tours of the White House for local schoolchildren; and an ashtray at Camp David. The American Government appreciates your tax dollars and we look forward to serving you in the future.

The Government

And while I’m at it, the state government could write me some sort of explanation, too. It could go something like this:

Dear Leada,

We appreciate you sending your tax money in to the state of Alabama and we promise we will do a good job with it and not erect any weird monuments or anything. With your money, we’re going to pave 1/1,000 of a road; re-do Alabama’s license plates yet again; and fill the pot hole in front of Taco Bell.


The State of Alabama

P.S. – We really are trying.

I think this is a wonderful idea and one the federal and state government should adopt. After all, I’ve taken the time to show them where my money is coming from, the least they can do is show me where’s it’s going