Debates should offer more

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, October 5, 2004

I watched the debate last Thursday between President George W. Bush and challenger John Kerry along with many, many Americans.

But after about 30 minutes, I was done … finished … over.

This is a &uot;blog&uot; world – one of Internet news for short attention spans … news at your fingertips … updates at a moment’s notice.

So, when debate organizers spent all that time and paper (32 pages of rules, I believe it was) setting up these debates, someone should have recognized that.

I’ve developed a few of my own rules that I submit to make these things more interesting.

First, there should be something reactionary to a lie on either side.

Maybe an arm attached to the podium that will jump up and punch the liar in the face each time.

Or maybe the debaters should be connected to an electrical wire that will send a jolt of electricity through them each time they choose not to tell the truth.

Then, let’s ask the really hard questions like &uot;Sen. Kerry, does Theresa let you have Hunt’s ketchup?&uot;

Or, maybe a real test like arm wrestling, or even mud wrestling.

We could even throw each of them out there to lead Alabama on the football field as quarterback and see who lasts the longest.

We must do something to make these debates more interesting.

If I want to just listen to them talk with no indication of whether they’re telling the truth, I can do that anytime, any day.

It seems they’re always making one speech or another.

What I want is something interesting … something that will keep me awake.

We have Survivor where they’re stuck on an island somewhere. We have Fear Factor where they eat worms and other horrible things.

We have the WWE.

Maybe what we need is to put Don King in charge and then surely, we could make these debates more interesting.

Candace Parker is the news editor at the Shelby County Reporter. She can be reached at