Golf game rusty, Shelby County golf courses are not [COLUMN]

This is professional golfer Kenny Perry. He captured the 2014 Regions Tradition championship, held at Shoal Creek May 18. After seeing my golf game the other day, it's probably a good assumption I'll be behind the camera just about every time I go to a golf tournament. (Reporter Photo/Drew Granthum)

This is professional golfer Kenny Perry. He captured the 2014 Regions Tradition championship, held at Shoal Creek May 18. After seeing my golf game the other day, it’s probably a good assumption I’ll be behind the camera just about every time I go to a golf tournament. (Reporter Photo/Drew Granthum)

By DREW GRANTHUM/Sports Editor

Each year, we travel over to Shoal Creek to cover the Regions Tradition, and each year I leave there with the burning desire to try and learn the game of golf.

It’s hard not to; Shoal Creek is absolutely gorgeous, and with all the buzz and festivities that go into the pro-am event as well as the actual tournament itself, walking out of the place without the desire can be hard.

So one day last week, I decided I was going to give it another go. I pulled the driver out of the bag, drove over to one of the many fine golf courses in the county — it will remain nameless because I don’t want to ruin its business with how bad my game is — and went to the driving range.

Now, I’ve never played before, never had a lesson, nothing.

And it showed.

Upon getting into the box at the range, I noticed a man and his father were practicing all kinds of shots. Driving, chipping, all that stuff.

Showoffs.

I placed the ball on the tee and looked around and admired the scenery, which is code for I looked around and saw what all could be broken if I accidentally let go of the club. I finally sucked it up and reared back my swing, and came to the startling conclusion that years of baseball and street hockey have permanently affected how I swing.

The first shot wasn’t so bad, once it got done bouncing down the highway. The second wasn’t that bad either. I drove it probably 150 yards forward, and then 75 more once it was done slicing. I connected solidly with the air on my third swing, and by number four I really had it down.

As in the ball was bouncing down out of the box.

The father and son had to quit by shot six because one had pulled a muscle laughing so hard and the other couldn’t see from the tears.

The great thing is, it doesn’t matter how good or how bad you are. The courses in Shelby County are beautiful, and even if you’re as bad as me, you can get out to one and take in the scenery on a brisk walk to find your ball.

There’s something fore everyone, folks.